The Night in Gethsemane
The desolate soul: A Holy Week meditation with Don Dolindo Ruotolo
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On this Holy Thursday, as we commemorate Jesus' agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, we reflect on what it means to truly suffer with Christ. In his profound spiritual meditation "The Desolate Soul," the 20th century Italian priest Don Dolindo Ruotolo invites us into an intimate dialogue with Jesus in his moments of utmost suffering and abandonment. Through authentic and poetic language, Don Dolindo leads us to identify with Christ's pain, joins us in begging for the grace to accept all hardships in peace and submission to God's will. As we read, let us open our hearts to whatever sorrows or desolations we each carry, and ask Jesus to teach us how to bear our crosses in union with him.
“O Jesus agonizing in the garden of sorrow, my soul is so sad it could die: here I am, weeping with you. Oh! Teach me to suffer in peace.
Your desolation is extreme: prostrate with your face to the ground, agonizing at the sight of the bitter cup that your love offers you.
I too, I too, O Jesus, falter under the weight of such harsh sorrows, which I can confide in you alone.
Oh, teach me to suffer in peace!
There, alone, with God alone, in the silence of the night, your heart pours out in groans and prayers; but your fervent sighs seem unheard.
I too, O my God, sigh and implore for help and mercy; but sometimes my repeated cries seem to go unheard.
Teach me to suffer in peace!
Your soul is terrified; death stands before you with all the horrifying circumstances of the cruelest martyrdom; and the spirits of darkness dare to roar around you. I too, oh my dear Jesus, I too shudder under the weight of the most terrible crosses, struggling with the most desolate temptations.
Oh! Teach me to suffer in peace!
All the iniquities of the world have become yours! Like dark clouds passing over your humbled head, asking to be cleansed in the sacred blood of atonement. Your loving heart is all torn apart, and from your eyes pour tears in abundance, mixing with the cold sweat dripping from your forehead and soaking your clothes...
I too weep before you at this moment; so severe are my pains that it seems to me, too, as if I sweat blood alive.
Oh! Teach me to suffer in peace.
You rise up, but fall again, looking around as if to ask your friends for some comfort.
I too, oh my Jesus, my dear Jesus, sadly turn my gaze to creatures; but in the same instant, I recognize their powerlessness and nothingness.
Oh! Teach me to suffer in peace.
My father... My father, take this cup away from me if it is possible, but let your will be done, not mine. Angel of heaven who comforted Jesus, oh, come again to comfort me so that I may carry the cross behind Jesus, and teach me to suffer a martyrdom of tears and blood for my God!
Weep, my soul, but weep with Jesus agonizing in the garden of olives. Weep like him, calm and resigned. Your guardian Angel will collect your tears, and you will find them turned into pearls of purest gold on the day that God has set to console you.
Oh my Jesus, I know that you are good, just, and holy. You would never allow these afflictions upon me without a greater purpose. Grant me the grace to embrace your hidden designs for me and to accept my sufferings with patience and submission, uniting them with your agonizing pain.
Jesus, your will;... always your will;... I love you;... Have mercy on your last servant!
My Lord Jesus Christ, I now need greater grace to reach the place where no one can disturb me, because every time something holds me back, I can never freely fly to you. Oh! Who will give me wings like a dove so I can fly and rest? Who is happier than the one who desires nothing on earth, and is attached to nothing? So, my dear Jesus, I must leave every creature behind, and fix my eyes only on you. Ah! Whether a bird is tied with thread or twine, as long as it's tied, it can never fly; oh Lord, break this thread, because if I am not free and alone, I can never love you with perfect love. Teach me, Lord, this other way that leads to you, comfort me, for I have a thousand doubts on this matter, speak, for your servant is listening.”
Through this stirring meditation, Don Dolindo draws us into mystical communion with the agonizing Christ. Jesus invites us into the Garden to watch with him, to weep with him, as he fully embraces the bitter cup prepared for him by the Father out of infinite love for humanity. United with Jesus in his desolation, may we emerge from these holy days with renewed trust that God can bring light out of darkness and life out of death. And may the grace we receive this Holy Week sustain us as we take up our own crosses and learn from Christ how to suffer in peace.
Reference: Don Dolindo Ruotolo, EPISTOLARIO volume 3, Letters to Family Members, pages 429-431
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